The first thing that Gilbert argues is that happiness is subjective. There is no single definition that could allow certain people to be happier than others because of objective rules. He draws attention to Lori and Reba. They are conjoined twins that are joined at the forehead. They are very happy with the lives they lead. He simply points out that most people look at the twins and may make a mental note of how can these two people be happy as conjoined twins, but the fact of the matter is that we are not conjoined twins. We have yet to have that experience. So how can anyone but them know how truly happy they are. Maybe happiness for them is something beyond we can understand. Likewise, they do not know what is means to live as a “singleton.” Happiness for us is different. (Subjectivity)
People also have the ability to predict their emotions. The book mainly discusses this. The human mind and our ability to project our emotions both in future scenarios and past scenarios. It turns out that our imagination allows us to do this quite frequently, and it is remarkably inaccurate. When predicting future emotions they are jumbled with feelings of the present and without fully understating something that Gilbert refers to as the psychological immune system. This immune system allows you to go through especially emotionally trying ordeals (such as the death of a loved one) with most of us avoiding a complete nervous breakdown, or clinical depression. This part on rationalization was incredibly interesting. This is when Gilbert presents the idea of his psychological immune system. This immune system allows for people to rationalize their (seemingly) negative experiences into positive ones. “if we cannot change our experience, then we change our view of the experience” (pg201)(Rationalization). Also, current emotions will also affect our emotional projections. He gives the example of hunger (and yes I know that hunger is not an emotion; but just get the analogy part of it). If you are full and then someone asks you whether or not you will enjoy some potato chips tomorrow, your current feeling is going to dictate how you are going to answer that question. It is why be buy too much food at the grocery store when we are hungry and not enough when we are full. It is also why we may say no to a dinner party that we would normally love to be at, but happened to respond to the RSVP when you were in a sour mood (Presentism).
The final thing that Gilbert discusses is how people cope with the knowledge of their emotions of the past. The answer is people try to avoid the thing that cause them pain, and repeat the things that cause them pleasure. The only problem with that is our memories are selective. Our brains do not store all of the information that is presented before them. It merely stores fragments and then when the information is recalled it brings up the fragmented memory and then fabricates the rest as best it can. The part that the brain chooses to select as a memory is the most important part of the events that have occurred. The brain tends to store fragments that are more unusual than usual. Then is a big problem with people need to recall information on the average. For example the statement “I always pick the slowest lane at the grocery store” may be on everyone’s lips when they are in the slowest line, however this (for most people) is not the case. Most people do not always pick the slowest line. They can simply only recall the slowest line because they have remarked on it before and the brain has stored it because it is actually an unusual circumstance. With that being said, people still make decision based on their memories of past emotions. However, if a person can only remember negative past emotions for a certain thing, but has experienced several more neutral emotions, the person is still more likely to make a judgment based on the negative emotions (because those are the ones that he can recall). (Corrigibility)
He does offer a solution for this problem. Use others experiences to project how you will feel about something. By asking others how they feel currently (as they have just had the experience) you can actually more accurately predict how your emotions are going to be once you go through the same experience. Gilbert also reminds us that most people will not do this as people tend to individualize themselves, and want so badly to think of themselves as unique that they won’t project their own emotions by asking others. (Corrigibility)
Review:
This was a very frustrating book to read. I picked up this book off of a friends recommendation. It sounded interesting. He described it as understanding how the brain processes emotions, particularly being happy. Well, he was right. In essence that is what the book discussed. When I started the book, it was a joy to read. Gilbert’s humor made the subject matter very easy to understand. But here is where I think I had a problem with the book.
Gilbert would outline each of the arguments with a analogy, filled in with studies to support his theory, then close out each topic nicely with a conclusion of his argument. But the stories didn’t follow exactly what he was trying to say, then the studies didn’t make sense to me and then he would close it out (very nicely, might I add) with a grand conclusion that you could not help but agree with because intuitively it seemed to make sense. So basically as I was reading, I would read his premises, and some made sense and some did not, I would then argue with the book the entire time I was reading it, and keep reading because I was hoping that he was going somewhere with it, and sure enough, every time his conclusions made perfect sense. Frustrating as hell, I can guarantee it! There would even be portions in the book where he would make a statement like “if you as most people this they are going to say x not y,” I then turn to my sister (or whomever happened to be sitting next to me) and ask them the question and low and behold they said “y”. Frustrating premises like this made me want to chuck the book. But I waited it out and sure enough I like the conclusions that he pulled.
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