"How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie

Part 1: Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

Principle 1

People have an image of themselves and they do not like to have that image critiqued. If you do critique someone’s image it often does not result in change on the other person part. It will result in resentment and hostility against you. Many times people’s pride will be hurt and the point will be lost. If you want a person to change something about himself, try and reinforce the good things instead of pointing out the bad. 

“Let’s realize that the person we are going to correct and condemn will probably justify himself or herself, and condemn us in return.” Pg.8

Do not criticize, condemn or complain.

Principle 2

Appreciation is better than flattery. Appreciation is honest and encourages people to work harder and complete their job better. Flattery is fake. It is not genuine and if a person is caught giving empty flattery this, most often than not, will do more damage than good. 

Give honest and sincere appreciation.

Principle 3

There is one known fact about people. They are eternally interested in themselves, and every action tat they complete they do because they want to. Use this knowledge to your advantage when you go to ask someone for something. First person the ideas of how it will affect them. Then get your want/need across. You will have a better chance of getting what you want and making it mutually beneficial without the other person “shutting down” before your point is made. 

Arouse the other person an eager want.

Part 2: Six Ways to Make People Like You

Principle 1

People are very interested in themselves. Knowing and understanding this can help you when you have to deal with other people. Having a genuine interest in people allows you to converse with others and allow them to express themselves to you. When a person is able to talk about themselves with someone, and it seems that the person has taken an interest in them, they will develop a liking toward you. This is not a game though. This is not an exercise where you pretend, and as someone else “rambles.” By taking a genuine interest in people you will gain knowledge about a person as you learn about their past and present, likes and dislikes. 

“It is the individual who is not interest in has fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring.” Pg.53

Become genuinely interested in other people.

Principle 2

A smile is one of the best ways to make a great first impression. Just by smiling you make the other person feel that they are glad to be in your presence. They allow for people to become individualized and feel special if you smile.

The Value of A Smile at Christmas

It costs nothing but creates much.

It enriches those who receive, without impoverishing those who give.

It happens in a flash and the memory of it sometimes lasts forever.

None are so rich they can get along without it, and none so poor but are richer for its benefits.

It creates happiness in the home, fosters good will in a business, and it the countersign of friends.

It is rest to the weary, daylight to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad, and Nature’s best antidote for trouble.

Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is something that is no earthly good to anybody till it is given away.

And if in the last-minute rush of Christmas buying some of our salespeople should be too tired to give you a smile, may we ask you to leave one of yours?

For nobody needs a smile so much as those who have none left to give!

Pg.70

Smile

Principle 3

Remembering a person’s name makes them feel special and important. People take certain offense to people who do not remember their name or ask their name twice. To a single person there is no important word than their own name. Remembering their name and using it allows for people to build a connection and likeness toward you. 

Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language. 

Principle 4

This works closely with principal one in this section. By having a genuine interest in people, this principle is a lot easier to execute. Simple listen to people, and encourage people to talk about themselves. When people talk about themselves you learn about them. This helps you ask the right kind of questions and allow for a lively conversation. Using this principle allows for you to become a good conversationalist. Information that they are telling you in you can follow up with questions or statements that are guaranteed to be of an interest to them. This also paves the way for future conversations. Take the information that you know about another person and expand upon it. Research and find more information about what interests them. This will definitely allow for you to utilize this conversation piece later. 

“Remember the people you are talking to are a hundred times more interested in themselves and their wants and problems than they are in your problems. A person’s toothache means more to that person than a famine in China which kills a million people. A boil on ones neck interests one more than forty earthquakes in Africa. Think of that the next time you start a conversation.” Pg. 88

Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves. 

Principle 5

When you are dealing with other people, get to know what interests them as soon as you can (even if this can be done before you meet them). By finding out what interests them, and then taking an interest in it yourself. You will be able to captivate their attention and have great conversation. This kind of conversation also allows people to take a likening to you and your way of thinking. By taking in terms of what interests someone else you will be more likely be able to drive a point home and get them to understand and think like yourself. 

Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.

Principle 6

Everyone wants to feel important. By feeding into this they will genuinely begin to like you. Make genuine remarks about things they have accomplished or things they have owned and are proud of. By giving importance to them, you make them feel as if they are special, and important. People want to surround themselves with others that think they have value. 

Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.

Part 3: How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

Principle 1

Do not argue. This is a point that is also brought up in the 48 Laws of Power. Do not argue with someone. When you attempt to argue a point, or when you contradict someone, most of the time you will not get them to change their mind, you will only stir up anger, hostility, angst, and create an uncomfortable environment.  You will not get anyone to change their mind; actually most of the time people will only become more set in stone with their opinions that have already formed. 

Some suggestions on how to keep a disagreement from becoming an argument:

Welcome the disagreement.

Think about the point that is being brought to the present.  If you have not heard it before, consider it. Stop and think. This may be your chance to change your opinion or form one that includes this thought.

Distrust your first instinctive impression.

Often times we want to initially be defensive. Think if this reaction is the best way to handle the situation.

Control your temper.

Listen first. Listen to everything that your opponent would like to say. Do not interrupt or debate.

Look for areas of agreement.

Be honest. Apologize for your mistakes, errors, or misunderstandings.

Promise to think over your opponents’ ideas and study them carefully.  And actually do this.

Thank your opponents sincerely for their interest.

Postpone action to give both sides time to think through the problem. Suggest a new meeting time. This will give you and the other opponent some time to think about the situation in its entirety before you react.

“Here lies the body of William Jay,

Who died maintaining his right of way-

He was right, dead right, as he sped along,

But he’s just as dead as if he were wrong.” Pg 112

The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.

Principle 2

Do not tell people that they are wrong; even if they are. They will defend themselves to the end, even if they know they are wrong. 

“you can tell people they are wrong by a look or an intonation or a gesture just as eloquently as you can in words- and if you tell them they are wrong, do you make them want to agree with you? Never! For you have struck a direct blow at their intelligence, judgment, pride and self respect. That will make then want to strike back. But it will never make them want to change their minds…. For you have hurt their feelings.” Pp116

Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”

Principle 3

By admitting that you are wrong you allow for others to see that you are taking into consideration all of the points at hand and that you are not unmovable. It is a very wise thing to be able to change your point of view and admit it (factors of principles 1 and 2).

Also, by admitting that you are wrong you then hold the cards. If you make as mistake and admit to it quickly then you avoid potential embarrassment of later being confronted. Also, more importantly when you admit that you are wrong and begin to show that you are taking what you did wrong to hear, people are less likely to lay into you. They will look at your side more sympathetically and be less likely to badger you on something that you are already beating yourself up for. Really not too many people are willing to kick a person when they are down. Lastly, a person that can admit that they are wrong shows a lot of integrity. This is more often noticed than not. 

If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.

Principle 4

When confronting people that have opposing opinions as yours, be sure to confront them in a friendly manner. If you go for a hostile offensive attack, they are going to go for a hostile defensive attack. If you are coming from a friendly listening ear, they are going to speak with ease as if they are taking to a friend. More is accomplished as friends than as enemies.

This is best illustrated in the story of the wind and the sun:

They quarreled about which one was stronger, and the wind said, “I’ll prove I am. See the old man down there with a coat? I bet I can get his coat off home quicker than you can.”

So the sun went behind a cloud, and the wind blew until it was almost a tornado, but the harder it blew, the tighter the old man clutched his coat to him.

Finally, the wind calmed down and gave up, and then the sun came out from behind the clouds and smiled kindly on the old man. Presently he mopped his brow and pulled off his coat. The sun then told the wind that gentleness and friendless were always stronger than fury and force.  Pp 142

Begin in a friendly way.

Principle 5

When you are talking to a person that may have a different opinion that you get them to say yes to small, simple questions that they are sure to agree with; from there continue to build your point with questions that they agree with. By getting a person to say yes they are more likely to agree with you and see your point. Once a person says no they are much more likely to defend their position and not move. 

Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.

Principle 6

Let the other person talk. When they talk many times they are able to work out the problems themselves, or you will learn more intricate points of their case that can help you help them. Nothing comes from interrupting and assumptions. Not only will you not have all of the facts, but the other person will not be inclined to listen to you. Not from revenge, but because they are only thinking about the points that they never got to finish saying.

Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.

Principle 7

This is a trickier principle. This principle relies on the idea that people need to feel like an idea is there’s and that they are not being forced into something. This can be accomplished in many ways. Have someone go in from a third party to insinuate to you opponent that there are different ways of thinking. Ask for the qualities that they are looking for first, and then tailor your idea to fit there’s. Thinking like another person does, and trying understand what other people want is a key complement to this principle. When you understand what they want it is easier to tell them that in actually they already came up with the idea; and you are just there to accent it. 

“No one likes to feel that he or she is being sold something or told to do a thing. We much prefer to feel that we are buying of our own accord or acting on our own ideas. We like to be consulted about our wishes, our wants, our thoughts.”pp156

Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.

Principle 8

This is one of the most important principles used in this book and it is repeated from time and time again. Try and understand what other people want. If you put yourself in their position you have a better chance of accomplishing your own goals too. People might not always say what they want to try and understand why people do the things they do, and say the things they say. Try and understand how their ideas were formed.  When you do this you will put yourself at a great advantage to accomplishing your own goals, and also helping others with their goals and wishes as well.

Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.

Principle 9

This is about the one thing that all people want to understand about them. That if you were in the exact same situation, you would do the same thing that they are doing, and feel the same way they are feeling. Approaching a discussion, argument or confrontation with this in mind can help put both people at ease and help accomplish much more. 

This is the “magic phrase” that everyone would like to hear:

‘I don’t blame you one iota for feeling as you do. If I were you I would undoubtedly feel just as you do.’

Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.

Principle 10

There are two reasons that anyone does one thing: the one they say, and then the real reason. Often times that the one that they say is a nobler motive. When trying to get someone to do something that you would like, appeal to these nobler motives. An example given was a man that was trying to keep a tenant from moving out early. Instead of yelling, screaming and throwing the law at the tenant, he simple wrote him a note. In the note it stated that he knew he was going to say throughout the rest of his lease because he was an honest man and a “man of his word.” This appeals to the nobler side and gives the ternate a reason (a very good reason) to stay.

Appeal to nobler motives.

Principle 11

If you are having trouble getting attention add to your ideas by illustrating through action. When I was reading this chapter I immediately thought of the classic “Miracle on 34^th Street” when they are debating the existence of Santa Clause. In the courtroom they bring in bags and bags of letters addressed to Santa. Much more of a dramatic effect and the idea had a bigger impact than just making the statement “well you know, there were over 10,000 letters addressed to Santa last year.”

Dramatize your ideas. 

Principle 12

The book offers a last resort of creating a challenge to increase productivity. If other methods have failed by creating a friendly challenge between two people you will greatly increase productivity. Carnegie states that studies have shown that the number one motivational thing in the work force is the work itself. Not the pension plan or other benefits; it is the work.  Creating competition creates additional intrigue in the work and helps productivity. 

Part 4: Be a Leader: How to Change People without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

 

Principle 1

When you need to criticize someone first start with a complement. Bu appealing to their good attributes first you make it so they want to want to listen, and they are willing to fix what you do not like. Also avoid ‘but.’ Do not begin a statement with a complement and then in the middle change it using the transition word ‘but.’ When they hear it they will negate everything they have heard in the first part of the sentence and take it as false. Simply change ‘but’ to ‘and’ and you will avoid this problem

For example:

NO: “We are really proud of you, Johnnie, for raising your grades this term. But if you had worked harder on your algebra, the results would have been better.”

YES: “ We ‘re really proud of you, Johnnie, for raising your grades this term, and by continuing the same conscientious efforts ext term, your algebra grade can be up with the others”

Pp200

Principle 2

Do not directly call attention to people’s mistakes. Most of the time people already know. By indirectly calling attention to their mistakes you limit their resistance to break the rule again, and you make them want to follow the rules next time. 

Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.

Principle 3

Think back on your past mistakes and bring them to light when you go to correct somebody else’s on theirs. It makes you seem less pretentions, more humble, and it makes the person you are speaking to know that they are no different from anyone else. By bringing your errors to light you will naturally diminish any resentment that may arise from the correction, and they are also more likely to fix the mistake.

Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.

Principle 4

Do not give a direct order. Make suggestions and ask questions. Let the person arrive at the conclusion himself and then together conclude that it is the best solution. When you do this it will reduce hostility that spurs from direct orders, and it also invokes creativity. With this approach people are more willing to work together and come up with several different ideas of how the problem can be best resolved.

Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.

Principle 5

Le the other person save face.

Principle 6

Praise improvement. When you do this, you can see unlimited potential in a person. 

Praise the slight improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”

Principle 7

Give the other person a great reputation to live up to. When you do this you have set a high standard but also enforced to them that you know, without a doubt, that they can achieve it. With this kind of praise and belief in a person, they will easily be able to meet the standards that have been set for them.

Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.

Principle 8

Do not emphasize the fault emphasize how close they are to their goal. When you emphasize the fault a person is more likely to give up on what they are doing entirely. If you encourage them and tell them that they are close to their goal, or their faults are not as bad as they think, they are much more likely to accomplish what they set out to do.

Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.

Principle 9

Point out the good things in a task when asking someone to do something. You will not be able to win a person over every time but you can make the task less burdensome if you point out all of the good qualities for these completing these tasks, and what the benefits would be in completing them. 

Make the other person happy about things you suggest.

"The 48 Laws of Power" by Robert Greene

The book is set up in an interesting manner. While it does not say this at all in the book I felt that the first ten laws were essential to Greene’s argument. A person must follow these rules in order to become powerful. As I progressed with the book I felt that the following twenty laws or so were strategy markers. There were things to take into consideration as you make your moves progress with other people; tactics that can be used, if you will. These tactics offer light in different areas and examples of how they can be executed. For example, one of the laws discusses surrender. The way that it is presented is that if you choose to use surrender as an option do so, to conserve your resources, and make sure that in the end it will benefit you. The law does not simply mean to give up and this is a law that must always be followed. It’s best if you look at these laws as just a tactic. The last laws in the 48 Laws of Power I saw as simple food for thought, or just ‘other things to consider.’ These did not seem to be tactics but just small gestures or movements that you should be aware of; whether your enemy indents on making them, or you inadvertently make them.

One of the most important features of the book was the ability of understand people. Even if you are unable to execute all of these laws in your daily life, it still gives you the basic understanding of how people think. When discussing the just the first three laws with people, thought discussion we could learn how and why, their co-workers were acting a certain way, why their bosses acted a certain way, and even why subordinates were acting the way that they do. This book definitely offered incite and understand into the way people think in a competitive environment. 

My favorite part about the book was the historical accounts given to illustrate each of the points. The historical account offered an explanation of how these things have been used in the past in an interesting way. The stories maid the point stick, with a complete understanding of how the law is intended to work. They were interesting, and the stories would be the reason why I would repeatedly read the book.

Notes from The 48 Laws of Power 

Law 1

Never Outshine the Master

Always make those above you feel comfortably superior.  In your desire to please or impress them, do not go too far in displaying your talents or you might accomplish the opposite – inspire fear and insecurity.  Make your masters appear more brilliant than they are and you will attain the heights of power.

This is illustrated by King Louie XIV and his firing of his former finance minister, Fouquet, and the hiring of Colbert. He fired Fouquet for his lavish party that he through on the King’s behalf. In turn King Louie XIV hired a dill finance minister to replace him, Colbert. King Louie XIV was never outshined again, after all he did later build the Palace of Versailles.

Law 2

Never put too Much Trust in Friends, Learn how to use Enemies 

Be wary of friends-they will betray you more quickly, for they are easily aroused to envy.  They also become spoiled and tyrannical. But hire a former enemy and he will be more loyal than a friend, because he has more to prove.  In fact, you have more to fear from friends than from enemies.  If you have no enemies, find a way to make them.

This is illustrated with the story of Michael III of the Byzantine Empire being betrayed by a close friend; not only a friend, but a person in which he created entirely. Basilius was a former stable boy that Michael III trained and turned into a member of his cabinet. As time whet on Basilius turned Michael against his uncle and manipulated the army into his own hands. Basilius ended up staging a coup against Michael.

 Law 3

Conceal your Intentions 

Keep people off-balance and in the dark by never revealing the purpose behind your actions.  If they have no clue what you are up to, they cannot prepare a defense.  Guide them far enough down the wrong path, envelope them in enough smoke, and by the time they realize your intentions, it will be too late.

Pat One Actions: This Law is discussed primarily with the example of Otto von Bismarck’s unification of the German state. All surrounding nations wanted to keep the potential nation at odds and were adamantly against unification. They anticipated war to be declared on them if the states were to unite in. In tern Bismarck gave a powerful speech of the dangers of war. This lead all of Europe to believe that the Germen state would not unite as war would be avoided. This was only to send the rest of Europe off track. When the rest of Europe least expected Bismarck let the German people in to a unification effort and war against opposing nations. Because this was a surprise to other nations, it was a success.

Part Two, Personality: Don’t let people get to know your personality or intentions to deeply. Don’t be standoffish and awkward; just tell people what you believe they wish to hear. Be personable and friendly, but that does not necessarily mean tell them the truth.

 Law 4

Always Say Less than Necessary 

When you are trying to impress people with words, the more you say, the more common you appear, and the less in control.  Even if you are saying something banal, it will seem original if you make it vague, open-ended, and sphinx-like.  Powerful people impress and intimidate by saying less.  The more you say, the more likely you are to say something foolish.

Vagueness keeps people inquisitive and confused. It leaves you holding all of the cards.

 Law 5

So Much Depends on Reputation – Guard it with your Life 

Reputation is the cornerstone of power.  Through reputation alone you can intimidate and win; once you slip, however, you are vulnerable, and will be attacked on all sides.  Make your reputation unassailable.  Always be alert to potential attacks and thwart them before they happen.  Meanwhile, learn to destroy your enemies by opening holes in their own reputations.  Then stand aside and let public opinion hang them.

This is illustrated with Chuko Liang defeating a 150,000 person army without a single bow being thrown, and he only had 100 men in his army to defend himself. This defeat happened because of sheer intimidation and past reputation. 

 Law 6

Court Attention at all Cost 

Everything is judged by its appearance; what is unseen counts for nothing.  Never let yourself get lost in the crowd, then, or buried in oblivion.  Stand out.  Be conspicuous, at all cost.  Make yourself a magnet of attention by appearing larger, more colorful, more mysterious, than the bland and timid masses.

Gain attention. Be different. Even if the attention is negative, some attention is better than blending in with the masses. But do remember, Do Not Outshine the Master (Law One). In your attempt to stand out, if you outshine the master you will be shunned and your reputation can be destroyed. 

  Law 7

Get others to do the Work for you, but Always Take the Credit 

Use the wisdom, knowledge, and legwork of other people to further your own cause.  Not only will such assistance save you valuable time and energy, it will give you a godlike aura of efficiency and speed.  In the end your helpers will be forgotten and you will be remembered.  Never do yourself what others can do for you.

This is illustrated with the inventions of Tesla. He did not seek fame and glory, he believed that science preceded all of that. In doing so, this lead Tesla to a carrier with stolen patens, lack of credit, a poor life, and most important most of his discoveries are now associated with other people, that were not the inventors. 

 Law 8

Make other People come to you – use Bait if Necessary 

When you force the other person to act, you are the one in control.  It is always better to make your opponent come to you, abandoning his own plans in the process.  Lure him with fabulous gains – then attack.  You hold the cards.

By having people come to you, they are unaware that they are working on your behalf. You must make no decision in anger, but know that when other people make dictions when they are angry with you, they can make moves that are predictable, and inevitably work to your advantage. This is an area of sheer manipulation. It may take practice.

 Law 9

Win through your Actions, Never through Argument 

Any momentary triumph you think gained through argument is really a Pyrrhic victory:  The resentment and ill will you stir up is stronger and lasts longer than any momentary change of opinion.  It is much more powerful to get others to agree with you through your actions, without saying a word.  Demonstrate, do not explicate.

Do not argue with people to prove a point. Their initial reaction and feelings will linger on, even after they say that their point is changed. Make them believe your point by having them see your argument first had, or by expressing it through actions.

 Law 10

Infection: Avoid the Unhappy and Unlucky 

You can die from someone else’s misery – emotional states are as infectious as disease.  You may feel you are helping the drowning man but you are only precipitating your own disaster.  The unfortunate sometimes draw misfortune on themselves; they will also draw it on you.  Associate with the happy and fortunate instead.

Erratic and emotionally unstable people will bring you down. Do not associate with people who have this behavior, because it will infect you in all aspects of your life. Do not try to help, do not pass them off to another friend. Just distance yourself as much as possible from them. Quarantine is the answer. 

Law 11

Learn to Keep People Dependent on You 

To maintain your independence you must always be needed and wanted.  The more you are relied on, the more freedom you have.  Make people depend on you for their happiness and prosperity and you have nothing to fear.  Never teach them enough so that they can do without you.

Have people be dependent on you. When people are dependent on you, you are no longer expendable, and often times you can be more valuable then the person you are dealing with. This was illustrated with King Fredrick’s hopes dependency on Bismarck, and his inability to fire him, even though he despised him.

 Law 12

Use Selective Honesty and Generosity to Disarm your Victim

One sincere and honest move will cover over dozens of dishonest ones.  Open-hearted gestures of honesty and generosity bring down the guard of even the most suspicious people.  Once your selective honesty opens a hole in their armor, you can deceive and manipulate them at will.  A timely gift – a Trojan horse – will serve the same purpose.

The appearance of you being an honest person will often lead your enemies to believe that you are honest and trustworthy even though you may have your own interests at heart. Be careful with this rule because if you pretend to be honest and your true intentions are revealed that will lead your mark to believe that you are untrustworthy. That association will forever damage your reputation.

 Law 13

When Asking for Help, Appeal to People’s Self-Interest, Never to their Mercy or Gratitude 

If you need to turn to an ally for help, do not bother to remind him of your past assistance and good deeds.  He will find a way to ignore you.  Instead, uncover something in your request, or in your alliance with him, that will benefit him, and emphasize it out of all proportion.  He will respond enthusiastically when he sees something to be gained for himself.

When you are presenting an argument to persuade someone to do something you want make your argument appeal to the future way you can help him. And do not bother to recall past circumstances where you have already helped him. Most practical people will look to the future before they look to the past. 

 Law 14

Pose as a Friend, Work as a Spy 

Knowing about your rival is critical.  Use spies to gather valuable information that will keep you a step ahead.  Better still: Play the spy yourself.  In polite social encounters, learn to probe.  Ask indirect questions to get people to reveal their weaknesses and intentions.  There is no occasion that is not an opportunity for artful spying.

Posing as a spy you can gain much information about your enemies; more information than if you were to simply just speak with them. When you speak to a person the only information that you receive is the information that the person chooses to reveal to you. However, operating as a spy you can often gain more information. You can even be the spy yourself taking advantage of social gatherings. They will often times mistake your general interest with friendship. However, do not pry to much or be to direct in your questioning because if they gather that you are trying to get them to reveal information and secrets, they will only avoid you.

 Law 15

Crush your Enemy Totally 

All great leaders since Moses have known that a feared enemy must be crushed completely.  (Sometimes they have learned this the hard way.)  If one ember is left alight, no matter how dimly it smolders, a fire will eventually break out.  More is lost through stopping halfway than through total annihilation:  The enemy will recover, and will seek revenge.  Crush him, not only in body but in spirit.

If you leave your enemy with any essence of hope they will take you down. You must eliminate and destroy all of their beliefs, and make it so they are not able to ham you. Compassion is not possible, because it may hurt you in the end.

 Law 16

Use Absence to Increase Respect and Honor 

Too much circulation makes the price go down:  The more you are seen and heard from, the more common you appear.  If you are already established in a group, temporary withdrawal from it will make you more talked about, even more admired.  You must learn when to leave.  Create value through scarcity.

Being seen too much will allow people to believe that they can take advantage of you. They can also begin to see past your allure and see and understand you as a real person. This is not something that you want. You want people to look at you as different, with an air of mystery. 

 Law 17

Keep Others in Suspended Terror: Cultivate an Air of Unpredictability 

Humans are creatures of habit with an insatiable need to see familiarity in other people’s actions.  Your predictability gives them a sense of control.  Turn the tables: Be deliberately unpredictable.  Behavior that seems to have no consistency or purpose will keep them off-balance, and they will wear themselves out trying to explain your moves.  Taken to an extreme, this strategy can intimidate and terrorize.

Keeping people wrapped in mystery makes you unpredictable and confusing. People will have no idea what your tactics are, and they will spend to much time trying to figure them out. This is something that they will not be able to do, as they will not be able to predict selected randomness that you have designed.

 Law 18

Do Not Build Fortresses to Protect Yourself – Isolation is Dangerous 

The world is dangerous and enemies are everywhere – everyone has to protect themselves.  A fortress seems the safest. But isolation exposes you to more dangers than it protects you from – it cuts you off from valuable information, it makes you conspicuous and an easy target.  Better to circulate among people find allies, mingle.  You are shielded from your enemies by the crowd.

One of the most important aspects of power is to understand who you are working with. Isolating yourself out of fear leaves you without understanding the people that you work with. Plus, people give you power; it doesn’t just appear. If you isolate yourself you will no longer have power because you lack being around people. The result may be nothing more than fear and a title, and no power.

 Law 19

Know Who You’re Dealing with – Do Not Offend the Wrong Person 

There are many different kinds of people in the world, and you can never assume that everyone will react to your strategies in the same way.  Deceive or outmaneuver some people and they will spend the rest of their lives seeking revenge.  They are wolves in lambs’ clothing.  Choose your victims and opponents carefully, then – never offend or deceive the wrong person.

There are different types of people and understanding what kind of person you are dealing with can result in you avoiding major blunders by accidentally offending people and causing a major setback in your plan.

The hardest types of people to distinguish, and they also happen to be the most dangerous types of people to deal with, are outlined in the book as:

The Arrogant and Proud Man. Although he many initially disguise it, this man’s touchy pride makes him very dangerous. Any perceived light will lead to a vengeance of overwhelming violence. You may say to yourself, “But I only said such-and-such at a party, where everyone was drunk…”It does not matter. There is no sanity behind this overreaction, so do not waste your time on trying to figure him out. If at any point in your dealings with a person you sense an oversensitive and overactive pride, flee. Whatever you are hoping for from him isn’t worth it.

The Hopelessly Insecure Man. This man is related to the proud and arrogant type but is less violent and harder to spot. His ego is fragile, his sense of self insecure, and if he feels himself deceived or attacked, the hurt will simmer. He will attach you in bites that will take forever to get big enough for you to notice. If you find you have deceived or harmed such a man, disappear for a long time. Do not sta around him or he will nibble you to death.

Mr. Suspicion. Another variant on the breeds above, this is a future Joe Stalin. He sees what he wants to see- usually the worst- in other people, and imagines that everyone is after him. Mr. Suspicion is in fact the least dangerous of the three: Genuinely unbalanced, he is easy to deceive, just as Stalin himself was constantly deceived. Play on this suspicions nature to get him to turn against other people. But if you do become the target of his suspicions, watch out.

The Serpent with a Long Memory. If hurt or deceived, this man will show no anger on the surface; he will calculate and wait. Then, when he is in a position to turn the table, the will exact a revenge marked by a coldblooded shrewdness. Recognize this many by his calculation and cunning in the different areas of his life. He is usually old and in affectionate. Be double careful of this snake, and you will have somehow injured him. Either crush him comply or get him out of your sight.

The Plain, Unassuming, and Often Unintelligent Man. Ah, you ears prick up when your find sic a tempting victim. But this man is a lot harder to deceive than you imagine. Falling for a ruse often takes intelligence and imagination- a sense of the possible rewards. The blind man will not take the bait because he does not recognize it. He is that unaware. The danger with this man is not that he will harm out or seek revenge, but merely that he will waste your time, energy, resources, and even your sanity reaction in utterly literal, this is the type you are dealing with. Continue at your own risk.

 Law 20 

Do Not Commit to Anyone 

It is the fool who always rushes to take sides.  Do not commit to any side or cause but yourself.  By maintaining your independence, you become the master of others – playing people against one another, making them pursue you.

By remaining ambiguous to everyone and not committing entirely to one side, you will be able to play both sides; either against each other, or for your own protection.

 Law 21

Play a Sucker to Catch a Sucker – Seem Dumber than your Mark

No one likes feeling stupider than the next persons.  The trick, is to make your victims feel smart – and not just smart, but smarter than you are.  Once convinced of this, they will never suspect that you may have ulterior motives.

By making people believe that they are smarter than you they often times drop their guard leaving you in the position of power. People will be unsuspecting as they are not willing to belive that they are dumber or more cunning than a rube.

 Law 22

Use the Surrender Tactic: Transform Weakness into Power 

When you are weaker, never fight for honor’s sake; choose surrender instead.  Surrender gives you time to recover, time to torment and irritate your conqueror, time to wait for his power to wane.  Do not give him the satisfaction of fighting and defeating you – surrender first.  By turning the other check you infuriate and unsettle him.  Make surrender a tool of power.

Surrender means that you do not have to fight a war that may not be one. When you surrender you conserve your resources and choose where your power goes. This can often be most helpful in arguments. By not acting rash and simply doing what others ask of you (for the time being, and still keeping your own agendas in the front of your mind) you can avoid needless headache in a fight that only may be sending you back. The key to this is, use as a tactic, not to give up.

 Law 23

Concentrate Your Forces 

Conserve your forces and energies by keeping them concentrated at their strongest point.  You gain more by finding a rich mine and mining it deeper, than by flitting from one shallow mine to another – intensity defeats extensity every time.  When looking for sources of power to elevate you, find the one key patron, the fat cow who will give you milk for a long time to come.

By concentrating your forces you insure that energy is not wasted and you are not over expanding yourself. History is filled with rulers who have fallen because they overextended themselves and they were unable to defend on all fronts.

 Law 24

Play the Perfect Courtier 

The perfect courtier thrives in a world where everything revolves around power and political dexterity.  He has mastered the art of indirection; he flatters, yields to superiors, and asserts power over others in the mot oblique and graceful manner.  Learn and apply the laws of courtiership and there will be no limit to how far you can rise in the court.

Some Important Notes about Flattery:

Practice Nonchalance

Be Frugal with Flattery

Arrange to be Noticed

Alter your Style and Language According to the Person you are Dealing with

Never Be there Bearer of Bad News

Never Affect Friendless and Intimacy with your Master

Never Criticize Those Above you Directly

Be Frugal in Asking Those Above You for favors

Never Joke About Appearances or Taste

Do Not Be the Court Clinic

Be Self- Observant

Master Your Emotions

Fit the Spirit of the Times

Be the Source of Pleasure.

 Law 25

Re-Create Yourself 

Do not accept the roles that society foists on you.  Re-create yourself by forging a new identity, one that commands attention and never bores the audience.  Be the master of your own image rather than letting others define if for you.  Incorporate dramatic devices into your public gestures and actions – your power will be enhanced and your character will seem larger than life.

Create a true character for yourself. Sometimes this may mean reinventing your past. Change your presence and your story make it so it fits who you are talking to and utilize it so people will be able to see that you are capable of doing whatever you wish to do. 

 Law 26

Keep Your Hands Clean 

You must seem a paragon of civility and efficiency: Your hands are never soiled by mistakes and nasty deeds.  Maintain such a spotless appearance by using others as scapegoats and cat’s-paws to disguise your involvement.

Use others to take the fall in situations that make you look bad. When sacraficing a friend you accomplish two things: First, you are no longer the problem in the situation (and have differed attention from yourself), Second, you also get rid of a friend that might have been getting two close or learning two much information about yourself.

Law 27

Play on People’s Need to Believe to Create a Cultlike Following 

People have an overwhelming desire to believe in something.  Become the focal point of such desire by offering them a cause, a new faith to follow.  Keep your words vague but full of promise; emphasize enthusiasm over rationality and clear thinking.  Give your new disciples rituals to perform, ask them to make sacrifices on your behalf.  In the absence of organized religion and grand causes, your new belief system will bring you untold power.

Creating a Cult Like Following:

Keep your message vague, and simple.

Emphasize the visual and the sensual over the Intellectual

Borrow the Forms of Organized religion to Structure the group.

Disguise your source of Income

Set up and Us-versus-Them Dynamic

 Law 28

Enter Action with Boldness 

If you are unsure of a course of action, do not attempt it.  Your doubts and hesitations will infect your execution.  Timidity is dangerous:  Better to enter with boldness.  Any mistakes you commit through audacity are easily corrected with more audacity.  Everyone admires the bold; no one honors the timid.

BOLDNESS AND HESITATION:  A Brief psychological Comparison

The Bolder the lie the Better

Lions Circle the Hesitant Pray

Boldness Strikes Fear; Fear Creates Authority

Going halfway with Half a Heart Digs the Deeper Grave

Hesitation Creates Gaps, Boldness Obliterates them

Audacity Separates your from the Herd

 Law 29 

Plan All the Way to the End 

The ending is everything.  Plan all the way to it, taking into account all the possible consequences, obstacles, and twists of fortune that might reverse your hard work and give the glory to others.  By planning to the end you will not be overwhelmed by circumstances and you will know when to stop.  Gently guide fortune and help determine the future by thinking far ahead.

 Law 30

Make your Accomplishments Seem Effortless 

Your actions must seem natural and executed with ease.  All the toil and practice that go into them, and also all the clever tricks, must be concealed.  When you act, act effortlessly, as if you could do much more.  Avoid the temptation of revealing how hard you work – it only raises questions.  Teach no one your tricks or they will be used against you.

 Law 31

Control the Options: Get Others to Play with the Cards you Deal 

The best deceptions are the ones that seem to give the other person a choice:  Your victims feel they are in control, but are actually your puppets.  Give people options that come out in your favor whichever one they choose.  Force them to make choices between the lesser of two evils, both of which serve your purpose.  Put them on the horns of a dilemma:  They are gored wherever they turn.

Color the Choices: This example is best shown by Kissinger’s relationship with Nixon. Kissinger always thought that if he would make the decision himself he would be able to make the best one. Uncertain that the president would draw the same conclusions as himself he colored the choices. Kissinger would propose three or four choice of action for each situation, and would present them in such a way that the one he preferred always seemed the best solution compared to the others. 

Force the Resister: Push a person to “choose” what you want them to do by appearing to advocate the opposite.

Alter the Playing Field: In this tactic your opponent know their hand is being forced, but it doesn’t matter. The technique is effective against those who resist at all costs. (This example was Rockefeller buying the railroads to inevitably control the oil companies)

The Shrinking Options: A variation of this technique is to raise the rice ever time the buyer hesitates and another day goes by. This is an excellent negotiating ploy to use on the chronically indecisive, who will fall for the idea that they are getting a better deal today than if they wait till tomorrow.

The Weak Man on the Precipice: This tactic is similar to “Color the Choices,” but with the weak you have to be more aggressive. Work on their emotions- use fear and terror to propel them into action. Try reason and they will always find a way to procrastinate.

Brothers in Crime: This is a classic con-artist technique: You attract your victims to some criminal scheme, creating a bond of blood and guilt between you. They participate in your deception, commit a crime (or think they do) and they are easily manipulated.

The Horns of a Dilemma: The key to this move is to strike quickly: Deny the victim the time to thing of an escape. As they wriggle between the horns of the dilemma, they dig their own grave.

Understand: In your struggles with your rivals, it will often be necessary for you to hurt them. And if you are clearly he agent of their punishment expect a counterattack- expect revenge. If however, they seem to themselves to be the agents of their own misfortune they will submit quietly.

 Law 32

Play to People’s Fantasies 

The truth is often avoided because it is ugly and unpleasant.  Never appeal to truth and reality unless you are prepared for the anger that comes for disenchantment.  Life is so harsh and distressing that people who can manufacture romance or conjure up fantasy are like oases in the desert:  Everyone flocks to them. There is great power in tapping into the fantasies of the masses.

Examples:

The Reality: Change is slow and gradual. It requires hard work, a bit of luck, a fair amount of self sacrifice, and a lot of patience.

The Fantasy: A sudden transformation will bring a total change in one’s fortunes, bypassing work, luck, self-sacrifice, and time in one fantastic stroke.

The Reality: The social realm has hard-set codes an boundaries. We understand these limits and know that we have to move within the same familiar circles, day in and day out.

The Fantasy: We can enter a totally new world with different codes and the promise of adventure.

The Reality: Society is fragmented and full of conflict.

The Fantasy: People can come together in a mystical union of souls.

The Reality: Death. The dead cannot be brought back, the past cannot be changed.

The Fantasy: A sudden reversal of this intolerable fact.

 Law 33

Discover Each Man’s Thumbscrew 

Everyone has a weakness, a gap in the castle wall.  That weakness is usually an insecurity, an uncontrollable emotion or need; it can also be a small secret pleasure.  Either way, once found, it is a thumbscrew you can turn to your advantage.

FINDING THE THUMBSCREW

In planning your assault, keep these principals in mind:

Pay attention to jesters and uncommon signals. These small instances can be indications of their weaknesses. 

Find the helpless child. One sign of weakness is that when your tough on it the person will often act like a child. Then be on the lookout for any behavior that should be outgrown.

Look for contrasts. An overt trait often conceals the opposite. People who thump their chests are often big cowards a prudish exterior may hide a lascivious soul; the uptight are often screaming for adventure the shy are dying for attention. By probing beyond appearances, you will often find people’s weakness in the opposite of the qualities they reveal to you.

Find the weak link. Find the person that is connected to the powerful person that has a lot of influence over them, and see if they will bend under pressure.

Fill the void: The two main emotional voids to fill are insecurity and unhappiness. The insecure are suckers for any kind of social validation as for the chronically unhappy are the people least abet o disguise their weakness. The ability to full their emotional voids is a great source of power and an indefinite prolongable one.

Feed on Uncontrollable Emotions: The uncontrollable emotion can be the paranoid fear- a fear of disproportionate to the situation- or any base motive such as list, greed, vanity, or hatred. People in the grip of these emotions often cannot control themselves and your can do the controlling for them.

  Law 34

Be Royal in your Own Fashion:  Act like a King to be treated like one 

The way you carry yourself will often determine how you are treated; In the long run, appearing vulgar or common will make people disrespect you.  For a king respects himself and inspires the same sentiment in others.  By acting regally and confident of your powers, you make yourself seem destined to wear a crown.

This is illustrated with Christopher Columbus noble background in replace of his natural very modest background.

 Law 35

Master the Art of Timing 

Never seem to be in a hurry – hurrying betrays a lack of control over yourself, and over time.  Always seem patient, as if you know that everything will come to you eventually.  Become a detective of the right moment; sniff out the spirit of the times, the trends that will carry you to power.  Learn to stand back when the time is not yet ripe, and to strike fiercely when it has reached fruition.

 Law 36

Disdain Things you cannot have:  Ignoring them is the best Revenge 

By acknowledging a petty problem you give it existence and credibility.  The more attention you pay an enemy, the stronger you make him; and a small mistake is often made worse and more visible when you try to fix it.  It is sometimes best to leave things alone.  If there is something you want but cannot have, show contempt for it.  The less interest you reveal, the more superior you seem. 

Law 37

Create Compelling Spectacles 

Striking imagery and grand symbolic gestures create the aura of power – everyone responds to them.  Stage spectacles for those around you, then full of arresting visuals and radiant symbols that heighten your presence.  Dazzled by appearances, no one will notice what you are really doing. 

Law 38

Think as you like but Behave like others 

If you make a show of going against the times, flaunting your unconventional ideas and unorthodox ways, people will think that you only want attention and that you look down upon them.  They will find a way to punish you for making them feel inferior.  It is far safer to blend in and nurture the common touch. Share your originality only with tolerant friends and those who are sure to appreciate your uniqueness. 

Law 39

Stir up Waters to Catch Fish 

Anger and emotion are strategically counterproductive.  You must always stay calm and objective.  But if you can make your enemies angry while staying calm yourself, you gain a decided advantage.  Put your enemies off-balance: Find the chink in their vanity through which you can rattle them and you hold the strings. 

Law 40

Despise the Free Lunch 

What is offered for free is dangerous – it usually involves either a trick or a hidden obligation.  What has worth is worth paying for.  By paying your own way you stay clear of gratitude, guilt, and deceit.  It is also often wise to pay the full price – there is no cutting corners with excellence.  Be lavish with your money and keep it circulating, for generosity is a sign and a magnet for power. 

Law 41

Avoid Stepping into a Great Man’s Shoes 

What happens first always appears better and more original than what comes after.  If you succeed a great man or have a famous parent, you will have to accomplish double their achievements to outshine them.  Do not get lost in their shadow, or stuck in a past not of your own making:  Establish your own name and identity by changing course.  Slay the overbearing father, disparage his legacy, and gain power by shining in your own way. 

Law 42

Strike the Shepherd and the Sheep will Scatter 

Trouble can often be traced to a single strong individual – the stirrer, the arrogant underling, the poisoned of goodwill.  If you allow such people room to operate, others will succumb to their influence.  Do not wait for the troubles they cause to multiply, do not try to negotiate with them – they are irredeemable.  Neutralize their influence by isolating or banishing them.  Strike at the source of the trouble and the sheep will scatter. 

Law 43

Work on the Hearts and Minds of Others 

Coercion creates a reaction that will eventually work against you.  You must seduce others into wanting to move in your direction.  A person you have seduced becomes your loyal pawn.  And the way to seduce others is to operate on their individual psychologies and weaknesses.  Soften up the resistant by working on their emotions, playing on what they hold dear and what they fear.  Ignore the hearts and minds of others and they will grow to hate you. 

Law 44

Disarm and Infuriate with the Mirror Effect 

The mirror reflects reality, but it is also the perfect tool for deception: When you mirror your enemies, doing exactly as they do, they cannot figure out your strategy.  The Mirror Effect mocks and humiliates them, making them overreact.  By holding up a mirror to their psyches, you seduce them with the illusion that you share their values; by holding up a mirror to their actions, you teach them a lesson.  Few can resist the power of Mirror Effect. 

Law 45

Preach the Need for Change, but Never Reform too much at Once 

Everyone understands the need for change in the abstract, but on the day-to-day level people are creatures of habit.  Too much innovation is traumatic, and will lead to revolt.  If you are new to a position of power, or an outsider trying to build a power base, make a show of respecting the old way of doing things.  If change is necessary, make it feel like a gentle improvement on the past. 

Law 46

Never appear too Perfect 

Appearing better than others is always dangerous, but most dangerous of all is to appear to have no faults or weaknesses.  Envy creates silent enemies.  It is smart to occasionally display defects, and admit to harmless vices, in order to deflect envy and appear more human and approachable.  Only gods and the dead can seem perfect with impunity. 

Law 47

Do not go Past the Mark you Aimed for; In Victory, Learn when to Stop 

The moment of victory is often the moment of greatest peril.  In the heat of victory, arrogance and overconfidence can push you past the goal you had aimed for, and by going too far, you make more enemies than you defeat.  Do not allow success to go to your head.  There is no substitute for strategy and careful planning.  Set a goal, and when you reach it, stop. 

Law 48

Assume Formlessness 

By taking a shape, by having a visible plan, you open yourself to attack.  Instead of taking a form for your enemy to grasp, keep yourself adaptable and on the move.  Accept the fact that nothing is certain and no law is fixed.  The best way to protect yourself is to be as fluid and formless as water; never bet on stability or lasting order.  Everything changes.